Wednesday, March 17, 2010

An End to a Friendship...

Ellen and I have had a falling out and I wanted to tell you some of what happened yesterday. This way is easier than trying to message you or explain it all at once. Kind of gives you a heads up before hand.



I haven't slept much but I am not that tired. I had a late nap yesterday evening. Yesterday was a very strange day. I woke up late, but in a good mood. My lease papers were ready to be signed in Joy's office at 9am. Ellen called me right before nine; and said she wanted to go to Wal-mart, petsmart & target to stock me up on supplies for mandy. I would start having her 24/7 starting today. Well I told Ellen that sounded like a plan--to go ahead and get ready, that I was going to sign those papers, then walk mandy and we could go.


Well when I got back from signing the papers, Ellen was on my computer playing her game. This unnerved me. For the past several nights she had been staying up all night playing this new game on yahoo. And, I had already told her twice that I wanted a cut off time of 10:30 p.m. But she just kept ignoring the hints I was dropping; and me flat out telling her I didn't want her in the house after 10 o'clock.


We didn't even get out of here to close to noon; and we no more get into the car and she is already bitchin'. We get onto Altama Dr. and she doesn't head to GoodWill to drop off a box that is taking up space in the trunk. She snaps at me that it can be put in the backseat if necessary. Once again, it unnerves me that she is constantly putting off stuff--that dammit procrastination shit!


She can't find what she wants at Wal-mart. I say to her, 'Well I thought we were going to target anyways?' When we leave there and go to GoodWill, some woman in a mercedes pisses her off while I am inside the store getting a receipt. Ellen is ranting and raving on Altama Dr. again about people, places and things! Mind you it is never about 'me, myself, and I! The blame always goes on the other person. She passes the turn to Target. I said, 'Ellen there is target'...she says, 'oh shit, well we will just have to do it another day'...and I think to myself, she just wants to get home to my house to play that fucking game on MY computer!! Plain and simple! I was fit to be tied.


I said, 'Ellen I thought we were going to get this all done today?' and she replies, 'Pamela, I don't feel good and I am pissed off, so don't fuck with me right now.' She turns into her bank to make a transaction. I said, 'Ellen, you need an Attitude Adjustment, you can kindly take me home'...but when she pulls out we are headed back to target. I say, 'Ellen where are you going?' she says, 'we are going to target like YOU want to do', and I said,'oh noooo, take me home right now! I no longer wish to be around you!'


We pull up to the apt.s and I leave the wonder wheel cart and my canvas grocery bags in the trunk, and I don't even look back. I get into my apt. put on my coffee and start journaling. Then, I started dusting. An hour later she calls, 'I can bring the wonder wheel over, so I can get my cart back' she had left her cart here. 'Can we talk?' she says. And I say, 'I think I have calmed down enough so that we can talk rationally.


Well to make a looonnnnggg story short...NO we did not talk amicably. NOR did we not argue. It turned into a three ring circus. I wished her luck and all the best. I have been carrying about 90% of the load for her. I have never felt so relieved in all my life. I owe her a grand. She paid for my eye surgery. I even typed her up a document that said I would pay her back $100 dollars a month starting April 1st until it is paid in full. This was after she told her best friend Karen that she didn't think she would ever see the money. I asked her 'what kind of person do you think I am?' My gosh!


I even talked to my dad on the phone in front of her to set some things straight. Told her to get on the phone with him for not believing me. She tried to say that I lied to my parents about some things. I straightened her out on that in a heart beat...I am NOT a dammit Liar!


I loaded her cart with ALL of her groceries except what I remembered starting out with before she came into my home. I had tuna fish, spaghetti fixins, chicken, pasta, soup, and staple items. She tried to take mandy's dog food and I said, 'oh hell no! I paid for that bag here in my apt.' so she brought me $20 dollars to put it in her cart. The dog treats and biscuits I purchased I told mom she could have for their dogs because I paid for them with my own money.


I didn't realize she had so much stuff over here. It took her two or three loads to get it all to her house in a cart. then, she had to use a flash drive to get everything off my computer and I had to delete her files off. that took awhile, and she had the nerve to log onto her game to let people know she would be gone for awhile. what a pity!


And who really loses here?!!~~poor mandy!! she won't get walked, or fed on time, and she will lick sores on her paws raw to the bone because of the way she is taken care of!! I feel so sorry for her. It just breaks my heart.


Well there was a lot more said and done but I think yahll get the picture. I am okay and really do feel a big weight lifted off my shoulders. She was really asking too much of me~~doing her grocery shopping, lugging all that upstairs and putting it away, cooking dinner every night, cleaning up the kitchen, doing her laundry when she didn't feel up to it (last time i did 7 loads!! folded and pressed)!! And she was doing less and less.


My momma said she was worried that this friendship would end like this. She wants to see me continue walking although I wont have mandy. I will. I can walk on the sidewalk around the building instead of in the field. I really need to close this as I am getting too emotional again. I want to bring you up to date as to today's actual events after I collect myself. I am chatting with friends on the internet right now and getting lots of support and advice and that listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Thanks to everyone for being so patient with me. I can only grow from this.
     Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together cant handle. pamela